PARENTING STYLE MATTERS – ARTICLE 1
It is a proven fact that Parenting styles of parents affect not only childhood but adulthood of their children. Your parenting style is going to define decision making, confidence, initiative taking, problem solving and relationship management skills in your child.This is the reason why as a parent you must be aware about your parenting style and take corrective measures as and when required.
Like in the animal kingdom, an elephant or a Lion knows how to raise the young one. Similarly we humans know it too. But unfortunately our parenting styles get affected because of a lot of other socio-emotional influences
In a series of two articles, let us introduce you to four major parenting styles and how to create a balance between your extreme & ideal painting
AUTHORITARIAN
As the name suggests, this style imposes authority & command. Giving orders & make your children follow them becomes more important than actual discipline. Such parents would want their kids to just follow their commands & ask no questions or retaliate as they only know the best. They will never consider their child’s feelings into consideration & never ask for their liking or opinions. Parents only make all the rules
DISADVANTAGES
- As parents don’t discuss reasons behind the rules that they make, kids don’t get the ability to reason & put logic behind decision making.
- These parents use punishment in place of discipline. They make kids feel sorry for their mistakes and keeps their confidence level low. They are at a high risk of developing self esteem related problems
- Kids can often develop habit of lying to avoid punishments
- Kids when they move out of their home for higher education or jobs, often lack decision making skills, risk taking abilities, their parents takes all decisions of their lives that they don’t know how to do it on their own
PERMISSIVE
A permissive parent makes rules for kids but is lenient on kids whether they follow it or they don’t. Such parents believe in letting kids be themselves and enforces no form of discipline. If child makes any mistakes, they may call out to them but give in very easily even if the child slightly pleases. Such parents are never able to help the child choose between good or bad decisions. Because of too much freedom, they lack positive aggression to achieve goals & targets
DISADVANTAGES
- Children for the rest of their lives will not be able to respect and work under any authority. They find it unbearable to follow a set of rules. Whether in office or on the road. Not able to reach deadlines & meet targets.
- This parenting style pretty much affects the academic performance of the child. Due to lack of discipline, often children stay less involved in academics, making projects, finishing Homework etc
- Due to lack of good performance at work, college or academics failures in school , these kids develop low-confidence levels
- Researches have shown that in these kids chances of tooth cavity & obesity are more due to unsupervised & uncontrolled unhealthy eating habits.
Don’t forget to read the next part of the article on www.nanditaprakash.com describing the best & worst style of parenting.
PARENTING STYLE MATTER – ARTICLE 2
This article is second in the series of understanding four different parenting styles & derive the best style suitable to your child. In our last article we discussed Authoritarian & Permissive style of parenting.
UNINVOLVED PARENTING
This style is the most effortless & damaging style
Uninvolved parents, as the name suggests are not involved in the day to day working of their child. They know nothing about the child’s routine, activities at school.Often they don’t even know the emotional state of the child. They don’t know about the company they keep or where-about of the child. Some parents are also forgetful of their child’s age & class. Not much is devoted to the child’s basic needs. Though not many parents come under this category but some common reasons can be the parent’s health issues or if they are into substance abuse or too busy managing household or earning money.
DISADVANTAGES
In absence of rules, child don’t know basic mannerism.
- They are unaware about the basics of good or bad behavior. Exhibit behavior issues.
- These kids later are likely to struggle with self esteem
- When these kids see other parents involved with their kids, they lack the feeling of love & care
- They perform poorly in school & have low happiness index.
AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING
Our Next parenting style is the most balanced parenting style
An Authoritative parent puts a lot of effort in building a positive relationship with the child. They put rules in place & explain logic behind those rules. While making rules they consider the child’s perspective as well. If rules are broken then there are reasonable consequences which even the child understands. This way a lot of behavioral problems can be dealt with even before they occur. The parents use the strategies like praise & reward system to encourage positive reinforcement. Such children become adults with balanced emotions, good problem solving skills & decision making abilities. They know how to put across their point of view & yet stay sensitive to others. And it is clearly evident that this parenting style has no disadvantages
By now you must have identified your parenting style & self analysed where you lack.In our next article, we will further elaborate on ways to become an Authoritative parent. You can visit our website to read more such articles.
Happy Teaching, Happy parenting.
AUTHOR – Ms Nandita Prakash is an Education Advisor to various schools in Northern India.